So, I just got back from my annual family trip, that last year became a huge milestone in my life. Never more than this past weekend have I realized what a great idea my ex had by proposing on such an occasion. My usual family fun week will be forever haunted by the huge mistake that I almost made. Ok, maybe forever is pushing it a bit, but for dramatic purposes just go with it. Through some time to think during this mini va-kay I realized how the “artist” ruined this occasion that I look forward to every year! He was actually quite smart to think of it. I’m not sure if it was the “artists” plan to do such a thing, but I wouldn’t put it past him and if you knew him, neither would you. Now, I’m not gonna lie, I did pretty damn well with keeping myself together. If not for my amazing family, friend/roommate and some really feel good texts it would have been the perfect weekend to take a long walk off a short pier if you catch my drift. I kind of felt like this year everyone was looking at me like I had just (more…)
The Representative September 28, 2008
It’s a lazy Sunday, I am eating Chinese food out of a to go box for breakfast and it is 3pm. Needless to say I went out last night. Luckily, though The Non made me the first good cup of coffee I’ve had in days since Captain Pants boned out to Mexico without me. You see she makes the coffee because I am strangely world’s worst coffee maker. I don’t just fail at coffee, I FAIL at coffee.
Captain Pants has been begging me to write this blog. So here it is in her honor, since she isn’t here and i miss her ass. She gets the Tequila, while i eat the leftovers!
The Representative is a term my EMOEx said once after my description of what it is. I have always talked about “The representative” but he gave it that name so I am giving him credit for it. Which is ironic considering he had one. (more…)
The Whorecology of Casting Dirty Movies September 22, 2008
As indicated in the first post of this blog I work in the wondrous world of adult entertainment. Primarily I provide the service of getting the newest DVD releases to your local porn establishment. A secondary skill I acquired, production managing. That’s right folks I get the pleasure of dealing with people on set while we have casual conversations about target, smoothies, movies, family and friends …all while being oblivious to some ones erection or the fact the girl is wiping her vagina while speaking to you. Dream Job, I know! :::Insert sarcasm here::: (more…)
Heartbreak Fight or Flight September 21, 2008
Being venerable sucks. Getting your heart broken sucks even more. I should know, I like most people have had mine broken and sometimes even stomped on a few times. They (which I still have no idea who they is ..) say that you will never forget your first love. I agree with this mostly for the reason your first love is the deepest cut you feel. Someone should be cuing Sheryl Crow’s OH! so whoremotional hit “The first cut is the deepest” right about now.
The first time you fall in love your not ”smart” enough to protect yourself. You go balls to the wall! When that doesn’t work out it feels like your heart has been shattered into a million little pieces and can never (more…)
The New “Science Fiction” September 12, 2008
So I sat down tonight with my glass of wine and rented movie from itunes and what do I pick…27 dresses. Like I’m not whoremotional already on my own, let’s have the girl that was suppose to be getting married in 2 months watch a movie about people actually getting married!!! I may have never been a bridesmaid, but I sure as hell am not going to be a bride anytime soon.
Ok, back to the subject. Like I was saying, I have started to think about these “science fiction” movies. Are there any women out there that watch these for pure entertainment value? Or are we all secretly hoping for (more…)
I officially would like to have the term “hanging out” removed permanently from the mouths of anything with a penis. I know Pants would help me vote that shit into the amendment! Like really…this needs to be brought to the attention of the US government so women never ever have to hear that cop out BS term again. Is there anyone out there who can precisely define this term for me? If you can, I challenge you to a jeapordy dual.
This is how I see it, there are only 4 stages of “hanging out” you can be doing with someone. The reason everyone needs to know what fucking stage they are in is so (more…)
Being an avid watcher of Sex and the City when it was on and even now for the re-runs on TBS (plus many of my friends have that awesome box set!…you know the one that comes in the big pink box..oh yeah!) I have known about the Taxi Cab Light theory, but wasn’t quite a believer. Miss Communication would tell me her reasons why this theory was true and you know, I just didn’t want to truly believe it. That was until that one day I was waiting around for a ride and an empty (more…)