… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Life Lessons, Questions and Things that make you go WTF?! of the Past Few Weeks December 5, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Captain Pants @ 10:13 pm
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Recently, I was dating someone that I have known for a while and things had the potential to get serious. I took one step forward and he (let’s call him HT) took two steps back. I was ready and he wasn’t. Oh but wait, let me tell you that HT decides to tell me this (through text message) the morning that I was headed out on a work trip for 4 days where I will be surrounded by people, no time to myself, oh yeah and no service! For 4 days!!! I get a huge smack in the face and I can’t show any emotion as I’m in a van full of people and I CAN’T even call any of my best girl friends!!! Are you serious?!!! HT needed time to think. And here is the kicker, he said that he wasn’t sure if he could deal with the distance and not being able to see me everyday. Then he proceeded to tell me that he thinks we will be moving too fast!! I’m sorry, what?! Do you even know what you are talking about? (WTF?!). Ok, so then when I get back I decide to take two steps back and what does he do?! He takes three steps forward!!! Are you kidding me?! (WTF?!). Now, he is more than ready and wants everything to be back to normal. Well, here is a little fact about me that you may not know or if you know me, you definitely know this about me. Haha. If you give me the opportunity to step back and look around, most likely I will find the back door exit aaaaand..I’m out! Sorry, but if you give me that opportunity and I don’t see any reason to go back… I won’t, and there is nothing that can be said or done about that. Once I have made up my mind there is no turning back and above all..I do what I want! Haha. I’m not saying that I don’t have the patience to wait for someone, but if there isn’t something telling me that I just HAVE to make this work. I won’t. So the lesson here , If you need time to figure things out, make sure where you left me to ponder things too, isn’t next to a well lit exit sign.

Side Note:
If you want to know the mind frame that HT has here is the perfect little comic to look at. Totally explains it to a T. A freind showed me this. It’s awesome!!!


When did men stop growning balls and start growing manginas?
That’s right! I said it! Manginas. I really dont know how to be any clearer on that, but I have noticed an abundance of men that just plain out act like little girls lately. They use their myspace like a girl to tell everyone how much you are torturing them (stop being a girl!), they text you 20 times a day why are you being weird, why won’t you pick up, what’s going on, I need answers and I need them now, Why are you doing this? Man, can’t a girl leave her phone in the next room for 5 minutes (stop being worse then a girl)!!! And God forbid that you actually start treating them as just your friend just like they wanted and all hell breaks lose (not even a girl does that)!! My biggest problem right now is the texting I would have to say. I am an awesome myspyer (if I do say so myself), but HT is an awesome verizon text spyer. Apparently when I shut my phone off while going into a party and turn it back on he notices that his 10 text messages got read at 4am and that tends to send the mangina off the deep end. I asked one of my good looking male friends the other day if he could clear this up for me. Normally he is pretty ninja with the insight. Unfortunately, he had not much for me due to the fact that he still owns a pair of balls. So, the floor is open to anyone if you can explain this strange phenomenon.

Why can’t vampires be real?!

Yes as you should know by now, I am all about Twilight. I have spent the past week up until 2 to 3 am reading and I sit at work counting the clock until I can go home and start again. You would think I would be done with all of them by now, but I may not be the fastest reader and I’m so exhausted after work that the book hits me in the face repeatedly. Not because the book isn’t that interesting. It’s freaking memorizing. I just cant win over my exhaustion sometimes…haha. But I would like to state that I, Captain Pants, am in love with a fictional character!
You know the other day Miss Communication had asked me why I think that we get attracted to these guys that could potentially kill us in a heartbeat. And my opinion is that it’s that constant adrenaline rush. Someone who has the potential to take your life, but that you know won’t. It’s even a feeling safe factor. I think the constant adrenaline rush that we are looking for falls back to your first love. They had so much potential to break your heart (aka kill you) that every move, every touch sent goosebumps at what would come next. It’s a weird theory I know. And I’m sure this will just stay with our fictional character love. I don’t think that we are going to go out and date serial murderers or anything.
You know this is not all about Twilight either. I also love Bill from True Blood! Love love love Bill!!! haha. All vampires have balls for sure! They always have the right things to say and are so protective over their humans. haha. I have never heard of one that acted like a sissy la la. So again I ask, why can’t vampires be real?!

I really can’t get over my new and improved life motto that I have tried to share with every penis challeneged female I know (and no, I dont mean trannies, but for those of us females that are having the challenge of dealing with men and their stupuid penises)! There are plenty of fish in the sea and in case you didn’t know…I’m dive certified!!! I LOVE it!!! So, here is how I decided to make a step forward into the open waters. I joined a dating site!!! Yes, I hopped on that train as well. I was a little sketchy about it at first. I did some of my research, asked some people some questions and finally decided, fuck it! And I went for it. It is the beginning of a new adventure for me. I will be doing some new entries with my adventures in internet dating =) So, my lesson for this I think is… still being taught. Well, we shall see what the men out there have to offer and my advice to them… Bring it!


2 Responses to “Life Lessons, Questions and Things that make you go WTF?! of the Past Few Weeks”

  1. You forgot .. Bring it.. but leave your mangina at home!!

    I ❤ u! I do not love manginas or whiney bitchey men!!!
    I really like pudding … wtf is my pudding kick lately!! Such an odd craving!!

    Seriouslly.. can you stop and buy some snack packs on the way home??

  2. OMFG ..i just want the world to know how amazing Pants is..she brought me home snack packs for fucking real!! I think i may need to marry her ….

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