… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Adventures in Internet Dating: The Profile December 20, 2008

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 12:16 am
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Welcome to Part 2 of my Internet dating adventure. Once I had decided that I was going to join a site, I would have easily decided against it if I had  known about all the damn questions I had to answer. I mean…they just kept coming! There were so many that I had to just sit there and think, is that really my answer or am I just trying to hurry through this thing?! After filling it all out I had to stop and think if maybe I’m not as easy to please as I thought. lol. Or maybe Disney (along with Twilight) has warped my mind into what I think may be the perfect guy, that doesnt really exist, and know I have ruined all chance to meet someone cool. I was waiting for the screen to tell me there are absolutely no matches due to the fact that I live in a dream world. I figured it would tell me to come back when I grow up and live in the real world. What do you mean you don’t have any sparkling vampires that yearn for my blood, but wont dare drink it and then turn that hate into love, to match me up with?! lol. Just kidding….maybe.

  Some of these questions were quite ridiculous! Do you know that you can put the exact age, height, hair color, job type, eye color, yearly income, pets owned, work out routine and drinking regularity of someone that you are meeting?!!! I was amazed! How can you be that picky?! No wonder some people are on internet sites, you cant be that picky in real life!! I mean come on. At a bar do you say, “No, I will not talk to you cause your eyes are hazel instead of blue and it looks like you only go to the gym about 3 days a week and I want someone who goes 4. Oh and I’m sorry did you just pay with a Visa?! I’m an american express kinda person, rewards you know. Sorry. This will never work!” I’m sorry, but if you are that picky, I hope you enjoy being alone, cause thats ridiculous..haha. Some of the questions were to the T of how you expect someone to react to something. Isn’t that the fun of the relationship. The interaction and learning about each other. I understand getting some of the basics out, like, Hi. My name is Captain Pants. I’m 25. I have no kids. I have never been married. I work in porn (behind the camera), we can go into further details later. I don’t kill people or like those that do and I like long walks on the beach. Those are important, key factors.  Not, one day if you piss me off enough I’m going to slap you in public! That, you can just learn on your own. After some of these questions I was suprised that it didnt ask where I wanted to get married and what I would name my first born. lol. After my SAT questions in dating, I then had to make my profile.

Ok, but really?! Have you ever had to fill something like this out. It’s ridiculous. First off, I don’t like talking about myself that much. When I start writting I can go on forever. I like the beach, movies, hot guys, old cars, hiking, vampires and puppies. Blah blah blah. You know, the usual. But they only allow you a certain word/letter cap. Half the time I was in the middle of something important and I had no more space available. Are you kidding me?! Ok, what can I shorten up? I can take out a few of those smiley faces, maybe abreviate something, but then I just look lazy. Maybe, I should write “just ask” under everything, then we would have something to talk about..lol. But, then I look lazy again and also maybe retarded or uninteresting. Anyways, I figured it out. I did the best I could with what I had. I tried to put in what I felt was a good representation of me. Which, after searching many peoples pages, I am special…..

Just like everyone else.

Man, this is going to be more difficult then I thought..haha.


2 Responses to “Adventures in Internet Dating: The Profile”

  1. I am special .. just like everyone else!!! LMAO!!!

  2. jennytruant Says:

    Just a warning: Don’t tell them that you work in porn at first. This has lead many men to believe that I am a) in the movies or b) a whore. I am neither. I usually wait to see if they’re cool people; and then if you whip out the “I’m in porn card” they fall at their feet and worship.

    *Big hug* Good Luck Gorgeous!

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