I purposely create awkward moments because I think they are funny, or so it seems. I read that on a bumper sticker and have since adopted it. I just got back from fabulous Las Vegas. I lie, i fucking hate Vegas. My industry goes once a year for our big trade show, Adult Entertainment Expo. This show is like football hell week for me. I usually end up hung over every day, living off of a total of 20 hours of sleep, red bull and cigs. Oh and I usually work my ass off! Then I come home and get sick. It is also the time of year I see almost every single person I have ever met in the biz. Here are some of my awkward moments from the show:
Ex Flame Run In #208:
Several years ago I had a several month “thing” with a guy in the biz. We had nothing in common except amazing sex and the fact he amused me with his stories. We would rent lavish hotel rooms and drink wine and eat chocolate cake naked in bed after several hour marathon sexcapades. He was the best in the world when it came to anticipation .. which is a highly underrated art form. We hadn’t seen each other in a long time. We decided to meet up this year just to say Hi! and play catch up. We ended up bumping into each other on the show floor first. We quickly ran over to each other hugged and then suddenly … we were boyfriend/girlfriend for like 20 minutes. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, holding hands, etc. We were walking around like that all smiles … it was sickening. Then the “spell” broke when I started seeing all kinds of pornstars looking at me strangely … a few in not such a nice manner. I forgot to mention .. he fucks anything and everything. He is known for girls falling madly in love with him to the point they have to move to different states. I suddenly realized all those girls were reading a huge flashing sign that said “flavor of the week” across my forehead. While at one point in my life that sign was flashing brightly above my head in neon pink & orange with a huge arrow pointing downward like a trampy version of the In and Out sign … it doesn’t now.
I don’t really want to SHARE that ..
I was sitting at a gathering in Vegas. I looked around and this is what I observed before I almost threw up in my mouth. I had slept with Guy 1 and made out with Guy 3. Guy 1 had slept with Girl 2 and possibly hooked up with Girl 4. Girl 2 had slept with Guy 3, 2 and 1 and a few others there. Girl 1 had slept with Guy 2. Girl 4 had slept with Guy 2 and 3. Girl 5 had slept with almost everyone there except me! Just because i am in the porn biz, does not mean i swing that way. That is the moment I decided I really needed to get the fuck out of my biz on the dating front! Granted all of these actions happened over the course of the last 4-ish years … but seriously… Fuck My Life! It’s like a science project in this place … a creepy science project.
The Ex Files keep getting stranger
One of my Ex’s was in Vegas. Which was awesome .. we always have fun together every year in Vegas. We always spend a lot of time together there, rather we are together (in the biblical sense) or not. Last year it was his turn to meet my new dude (at the time), this year it was my turn to meet his new chick. Which was OK for me .. until things got weird.
So we decide to meet up and get some drinks. Instantly I can tell this chick doesn’t want me there at all and I quickly realize she knows exactly who I am. So I pull the ripcord in about 5 minutes because it made me hell of awkward. I stay in the same bar but go and hang with other people. The Ex comes over to me and asks to talk to me alone. So we go off and sit alone … just to talk. Apologized for the weirdness, etc. We mellow each other out and I could tell he was anxiety ridden, so I tried to make him laugh. In the first few minutes he tells me he told his new chick that if she didn’t like me … it was a deal breaker. Part of me was flattered that I am that important to him, part of me felt bad for the girl … a whole other part realized that that’s probably true for me too. But no one could have issues with him .. he is too cool. Then we chatted and chatted and somehow got to the topic of us (remember I had had a few and can’t remember how it came up) but he made a statement along the lines of “… we still have stuff between us. It doesn’t feel totally done .. ya know?” My instant reaction “.. yeah, I know.”
But I don’t know if that’s because we aren’t done necessarily or because we are still so close so it never feels like it fully ended. This is why being friends with Ex’s leads to so much confusion and what sucks .. I am friends with all my Ex’s!!! They are all cool ass people! The whole thing kind of emotionally fucked me up … not in a bad way, just a strange way. Not in the way of … we should get back together! & get married and have babies! either. Maybe I should stop over analyzing everything …
His chick found us off to the side talking about 20 min into our talk. Things got even more awkward. When in Rome … That made no sense.
Why would anyone give me 100 Free Drink Tickets?
We had an event in Vegas. With this event we were given bottle service and 100 Free Drink tickets. Who thought it was OK to give me that many free drink tickets AND 2 bottles??? Do you know what happens when someone does that … I feel compeled to use them … ALL! I almost made it through the stack with my friends … i only had 6 left. I am sure that’s a record. Or my friends have no livers. During the night I leaned over to my gay guy friend to tell him how hot some guy was and quickly realized it was my new co-worker who now probably thinks I’m a whore because he barely knows me. I was a sucky friend and let Captain Pants drunk text … not only that gave her the number right out of my phone! I tried to play rock paper scissors with someone over who knows what and proceeded to do a thumb war. We also walked to my room at about 5:30 am barefoot .. my SUPER high heels had finally won the battle. Casino floor barefoot … i was like a classier Britney.