… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Adventures in Internet Dating: The Head Pusher January 14, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 10:28 pm
Tags: , ,

So Mr. Internet and I have a had a few more meet ups since our first date. I went to his house, met his roommates and soooo cute puppy. We sat around the outdoor firepit in his back yard that over looked a small lake and watched Will Ferrell movies. Damn near perfect right? Well, thats what I thought.

After a fabulous evening with a few awkward silent moments, Mr. Internet walks me to my car. First, maybe I should tell you that during the movie, we layed side by side, not touching. I mean it is only our second kinda date so whatever. So, he walks me out to my car where we say good bye. Then the next thing I know my lips are being attacked. Ok, maybe he’s nervous so I kiss him back, but am totally taken by suprised. Obviously he has never seen Hitch..you go 90 she goes 10, you never go the full 100! haha. The kiss was not the best thing ever, but hey I got kissed so I headed home with a kinda smile on my face. But that quickly fades when I stop to think how awkward that kiss was. I quickly come to the conclussion that he is not going to call me again.

The following weekend I get a text from Mr. Internet. He would like to see me again and jacuzzi it up. Really?! Wow! Normally I’m a pretty good judge of the “he’s probably not gonna call again” kind of moments. This one blew me away. So, I agree after some FML moments with Miss Communication because I don’t want to be in a bathing suit around this physically fit dude. I wish he would have told me a month earlier so that I could have stopped eating!! haha. I decided to call one of my closest guy friends for him to tell me that guys don’t care and he did with his usual charm and humor to let me know what an idiot I was being. And that the fact that I’m half naked is all that matters. Haha.

I head over to Mr. Internets where he is waiting in the jacuzzi with a drink he made himself. Hmmm..roffie-colada perhaps? haha. We engaged in some really good conversation (and I mean conversation, that was not code for messing around) and then decided to head up to his room to watch another Will Ferrell movie. Again we lay side by side, but totally not touching. I even do the little scoot over and I get nothing. I can’t help but think about how much this guy must not like me. I barely enjoyed the movie cause all I could do was go everything in my head. By the end of the movie I decide that that was that. He turns the movie off (the lights were already off) and he attacks me again! Are you serious?! We didn’t even touch during the movie and now you are totally making out with my face!!??! So, whatever we make out. It’ gets a little hot or maybe luke warm is a better term because my head is screaming “WTF is going on? Are you kidding me?” and my body is like “Wow it’s been a long time, but I dont think it was suppose to start like that.  But hey we are getting something!” As you can see, very confusing for me.

In the midst of our makeout romp, I feel my head getting suddenly a little heavy. It seems to be headed south. Weird. Why you ask? Well, I’m not voluntarily headed south. There is a hand on the top of my head pushing me down. OMG! I have met a head pusher!!! Welcome back to singledom Captain Pants. Yes they still exist. So, ok. I now know why YOU are still single…haha! I do my best to avoid the head pushing and make a “it’s geting late” comment. This time Mr. Internet who shall now be known as the head pusher did not walk me to my car. In fact he asked if I had grabbed all my stuff and not left anything behind. I made sure I had everything and proceeded to head home. I was in such shock that I didn’t even tell Miss Communication when I got home. I actually left this little fact to myself for a few days. Hahha.

This time I was positive that the head pusher was never going to call me again. But then again when I was little I was positive that I was going to grow up and Johnny Depp was going to fall madly in love with me. I guess I was wrong about both. Then again Johnny Depp hasn’t met me yet! But can you believe that the head pusher called me again! I have ignored a few texts, but he has called, text and IMed me several times. Ummm…Hello Confusion. Do you care to explain?

Pretty much in my head I don’t want to continue seeing him (haha. He just IMed me. No joke..haha). He is a nice and very good looking guy, but the chemistry is just not there. And really? Who does that?!!?!


2 Responses to “Adventures in Internet Dating: The Head Pusher”

  1. I have been making head pusher jokes for weeks now!!! i am still not over this …

  2. theorheticalthoughtsunraveled Says:

    “Pretty much in my head I don’t want to continue seeing him..” – In your head? More like hand, ON your head… am I right… am I ri g h… . . hah?

    A good rule of thumb would have to be Sci-Fi movies, and never have I seen one that involved a dude shoving a girls face into his crotch. Talk about unsmooth… you take your crotch 90, and her face 10? hah

    Alright enough.. but seriously… That’s bad. At least you’re getting out there though…. some frogs, before princes, right?

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