… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Day 5 February 11, 2009

As far as Day 4 is concerned, this whole keeping a journal thing is pretty nice. Obviously having the blog is great too! But in my journal I get to put it all out on the table. I have had a journal before, but I forgot how good it is to just put it all out there. I am the kind of person that keeps things pretty much locked up until one day I totally explode. Writing things down in a journal just makes me feel like it has all been said. Having it said then makes me feel like I can then walk away from it and start looking at something else, not just dwelling on my certain feelings about something. I think keeping a journal is something I will keep up with even after these 30 days.

Being Your Own Best Friend

The wise don’t expect to find life worth living, they make it that way.

OMG! I found out that the author was married to David Hasselhoff!!! She spills that info in this chapter, haha. Sorry, I thought that was interesting. Ok back on track. In this chapter she breaks down the way we feel about ourselves sometimes after leaving a relationship. We can tend to feel like we are a bad person for leaving, giving up, etc. That I can relate to because my ex is usually the one telling me that I just gave up. That I didn’t love him enough to keep trying or to try again for the 10th TIME!!! To tell you the truth there should have never been a 2nd, but thats irrelevant now. Anyways, our version of love and support gets warped in toxic relationships. Maybe not even toxic, but something that is just obviously not working. Leaving is much better for both parties involved. It just takes time to see that. Alot goes on in our head and we need to remember to stay positive and be our own best friend.

The exercise today is to get the journal back out and write down every self-directed insult, every negative thought, and every potentially harmful impulse that enters my mind. These even include the day to day “I’m fat,” “I’m an idiot.” As well, as the heartbreak-induced ones (this could take a while). But inbetween each thought I have to leave room. Once I have everything out on paper and have some quiet time to myself, then I have to go back and write down exactly what I would say to my best friend if these were her thoughts. Damn, that’s a good idea! I think this is going to be a good one, but kinda difficult at the same time. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Here is the affirmation for today:

Today, I make a commitment to be my own best friend. I am worth loving, and that starts with loving myself. I will be gentle and kind to myself in all regards, in words and deeds. I’m grateful for the lessons I’m learning through this heartache that will make me stronger, more compassionate towards others, and, finally, the same loyal, supportive, cherished friend to myself that I strive to be for everyone else I love.


One Response to “Day 5”

  1. We love your blog!

    Come check us out at The Bung Blog: http://thebungblog.blogspot.com 🙂

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