Ok. So, I figured it was time to share some of the messages I have been getting from my internet adventures. This is just a small example of some of the ways that these guys think (or lack there of) in hopes to get my attention. Or perhaps into my pants, haha. Again, names have been changed to protect the idiots and those they may embarrass. Though spelling, grammar and plain stupidity has been left as is.
“hi the only reason i am hitting on you is your innocent bright shinning face you know if you leave out the h it is a sinning face which is really what i want.”
-Thank you Mr.horny and doesn’t believe in periods (the punctuality, not the once a month girly thing).
“Hey sorry to bother you but I just had to say I think you’re so fucking sexy!”
-OOOOK. Thanks for the update. And no I will not sleep with you.
“hey do you have plans tonight?”
-Ah…. Yeah. I have to wash my hair.
“looking for cute tall boytoys? lol;)”
-Nope. I have plenty. Thank you. Actually they range in all shape and sizes, haha.
“you know what? I couldn’t be better. I just closed a quarter million dollar investment in my company.”
-Suuuuure you did. Good luck with that!
“you same like you now how to have fun . and a nice girl
so if you what lets chat some time . let me now”
– Uhhh. I’m sorry. What???
“lets talk for bit sweetie :)”
-Is that how you go about everything? Let’s talk for a bit. Let’s take our clothes off a bit. Let’s play just the tip. I know how that game works out. No thank you!
“did you know that on the side where they have thumbnails of everyone, underneath yours it says “hornier” haha…
…so of course I HAD to click it ; ) “
-Uhhhh. Ok. Really?! That’s your pick up line for me?!! You definitely didn’t read my profile did you? Can you read? Probably not, since all your blood seems to be rushed to another part of your body. Good luck with that.
“So how many helping hands have you gotten on this site, if you don’t mind me asking?”
-I’m not actually sure what he means by that ::insert look of confusion::
Ok you got to call me! Up for a date? Only one way to find out if I’m fun or not? email or call (***) **-****.
– I have to call YOU?! No, hi. No, how are you. No, let’s get to know each other? Don’t believe in playing with your prey before you pounce? Wow. I can see how foreplay is gonna go with you. And with that one message, you are out!
“you american birds have nice teeth.
I love you. Does that mean we have to have kids and stuff?
I don’t mind, but I just want a warning.
(sorry for being crude, I’m anglo-saxon)
– Uhhhh. No??! Wait. What?