… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Adventures in Internet Dating: The Disappearing Act May 14, 2009

Ok. So, I am a bit behind on my internet dating blogs, but hey, life happens. Haha. Anyways, I have a date to talk about so here it goes.

A while ago (and I mean like months ago!) I went on a date with a guy that was 38. About a 13 year difference. I wasn’t too sure about it, but why the hell not. This whole dating thing is all about adventure anyways right?! So we meet up at this Mexican joint (points for him) with really good margaritas (extra points!). He gets there before I do (more points cause I wasn’t running late) put our name down and waits patiently for my arrival, haha. Actually, at this point I was driving around trying to find parking. I’m not the biggest LA/ Hollywood fan when I’m the one driving. Finally I say fuck it and park it Valet. Valet is my friend…most of the time. I get out and we meet out front. I notice he looked like his pics, but maybe a tad bit older looking. Side note: You know people put many pics on their profiles (at least those are the ones that I tend to answer back. I refuse profiles with one or sometimes two pics only!) and I’m usually drawn to one particular picture and hope that that was the recent one, or that they have decided to cut their hair back to looking like that and/or now dress like that… on a daily basis. Well, he didn’t look like the pic (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The No Call April 2, 2009

Wow. Ok, so I went on my first date with a Jewish-Buddhist. That’s right, I said it. Haha. He was a cool guy. We met for what was suppose to be drinks at like 9:00 PM. When I first heard that time I was like, yeah right, I’m never gonna make it. At 9 I am lounging on the couch getting ready for bed and you want me to be out and about and looking cute?! Geez! So, anyways I get dressed up and I look good. I look damn good. Haha. When I get there I notice he looks like his pics, but not as good. We sit down, order some wine and he mentions that he forgot to eat so he was going to eat. I had already ate something so I was not hungry. But now I look like “that girl”. You know the “I’m not hungry. I don’t eat.” kinda girl. This did not make me happy, but whatever. So we talk about all that we talk about. We have a few awkward silences, but worked through them. We actually even shared our worst date stories. (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: Thank You Captain Obvious March 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Captain Pants @ 5:40 pm
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Time to share some more emails with you. These ones are my collection of “Thank You Captain Obvious” emails. I wonder if any of these lines have ever worked for these guys. Obviously not, haha. Well, they still aren’t working! I have also been on a few dates. Blogs and updates on all that coming soon =)

Freaking adorable!
-Duh! (more…)


Ben Harper is a Genius! March 19, 2009

Not to mention HOTT. Wow! Look at those tattoo’s. Ok, where was I?! Oh, ok… So, I am a BIG lover of Ben Harper’s music. I absolutely love all his songs and they have so much meaning. I think the more you go through in life, there is a Ben Harper song to go with your feelings. I believe he captures heartbreak perfectly. He also has some AMAZING positive songs! I love reading lyrics because it can give the song a whole new meaning. I picked some of my favorite Ben Harper songs and took some of the lyrics that I feel have strong points and meaning. I’m not going to paste the videos because I think that the lyrics mean more and when you read them and they create meaning to you. I also am not putting what each one means to me because I believe that they will mean something different to everyone. Hopefully, these can help you to understand something you are going through, have been through, get through your everyday or just enjoy reading. It’s good to live by some of these words. Sometimes it takes someone to say something in order for us to say….”Oh. I get it now!” Enjoy! (more…)


Life Lessons, Question and Things That Make You Go WTF?! So This is 2009 March 16, 2009

I know it’s already March, but I needed 2009 to get a good kick start before giving my opinion on the year so far. And holy hell how is it March already??? Do you know what that means??? Only 283 days left ’til Christmas people!!! Oh god! I’m not ready!

Why do ex’s not understand the meaning of being an ex?
So, what’s up with ex’s coming back into our lives. I have heard it lately from so many people. What is going on here. Is there some weird alliance of the universe that we are unaware of that magically puts our numbers back in their phone, our face in their dreams and our myspace/facebook page up on their computer screen. I know that back in the day people use to break up and that was that. Now a days a break up, as in “I hate you and never want to see you again” apparently means call me in a month. I’ll be over it by then. Then we can go through this merry-go-round emotional fuck up game that we like to put ourselves through so much all over again! Yay!! Give me a freaking break! WTF! (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Indecent Proposal February 25, 2009

Ok. So, I figured it was time to share some of the messages I have been getting from my internet adventures. This is just a small example of some of the ways that these guys think (or lack there of) in hopes to get my attention. Or perhaps into my pants, haha. Again, names have been changed to protect the idiots and those they may embarrass. Though spelling, grammar and plain stupidity has been left as is.

“hi the only reason i am hitting on you is your innocent bright shinning face you know if you leave out the h it is a sinning face which is really what i want.”


Songs To Slit Your Wrists To: The Kill February 13, 2009

Filed under: Songs to Slit Your Wrists To — Captain Pants @ 4:33 pm

Let me tell you if you have never listened to the lyrics before here they are and it takes on a whole new meaning when oh so hott and tempting Jared Leto sings it acoustic. (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Mass Emailer February 7, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 6:52 am
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So, one thing I have learned from this whole Internet Dating thing is there are some really desperate people! There are guys who write up this huge email and send it out to probably every girl that they can find on the site. Because I highly doubt that they really have that much interest in me by reading that I like sushi, the color pink and looking at my pics! Here is a prime example: (names have been changed to save the embarassment of the desperate)

Hi darling!
My name is Mass Emailer. (more…)


I instantly regret asking to be interviewed February 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Captain Pants @ 6:30 am
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I forget how much Miss Communication knows me. I feel like I’m in a game of “never have I ever” with my best friend and Im instantly getting hammered!!! So, here we go. These are my interview questions from Miss Communication. Let the games begin!!

1. Name 5 things about your appearance you like? And why.
P.S. Miss Communication I hate you for this question. You know that I have been sitting on this question for a like a week! But here we go…
1. I like…my eyes. They are pretty cool. They change colors to match my mood and what I’m wearing. I swear. Sometimes they can be really blue and sometimes they are green. The coolest color they turn is turqouise, but that means I have been crying. I have never had a boyfriend get the color right when I ask what color are my eyes. Or if they are trying to tell me something sweet about my eyes, “your beautiful green, I mean blue, I mean what the hell color are they today!” Haha. Little secret…. (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Name Dropper February 3, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 8:32 am
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And the saga continues. In todays episode of Adventures in Internet Dating we meet the Name Dropper.

So, I was chatting with a guy that had messaged me due to the fact that we had a high percentage in the “we may end up liking each other one day because you like things like bread and I like sandwiches” percentages that they calculate for you. I found out that he is in the music entertainment business. So, that gave us stuff to talk about. He makes music, I listen to it. Something in common. We chat it up for a few days and then decide to meet up for some drinks. We meet up and things are going ok. It’s not amazing, but it’s not bad either. After a few drinks I suggest the dive bar across the street that I know to play some shuffleboard. Which P.S. I am taking all of my victims from now on. If you can hang with me at he dive bar for shuffleboard and darts you can hang with me, but (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Message January 23, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 5:00 am
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A few weeks ago Miss Communication and I were working on a project together. Earlier in the morning I had been online and was talking to a guy that caught my interest, or maybe I caught his..haha. I don’t remember. Anyways, I talked to the guy for awhile and knew that I was going to be leaving and would be unavailable for the next few days, so I gave him my number so that we could continue in text. After I signed out and went about a few of my errands I got a text. It was from the guy that I just given my number too. Let’s call him Truck Guy cause he had some nice pictures of a big truck on his profile! Oh yeah. I’m one of those. Big trucks get me all HOT and bothered! Anyways, we were chit chatting it up for a while when I let him know that I would be unavailable throughout the day because of work. We continued discussing how much we like cuddling and my profile does say that it is one of my favorite past times, haha. Along with mentioning that I was not on that site looking for “friends”. I try to make this very clear to everyone that I talk to. Especially after they find out what I do for a living. I find it very important to be upfront with my intentions or non intentions of trying to find a fuck buddy. I do not need the internet for that.  (more…)


Life Lessons, Questions and Things That Make You Go WTF?! 2008 Wrap Up January 22, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Captain Pants @ 6:00 am
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Where the hell did the year go? And damn it couldn’t go quick enough! HAHA. That was definitely how my 2008 went. Both the worst and best year of my life. So much happened!! I started 2008 off being 3 months into my engagement and I end 2008, 6 months into my engagement being called off. CRAZY right?! Beginning of 2008, kept everything bottled up inside. End of 2008, have a blog. Beginning of 2008, my dad has cancer. The end of 2008, my dad is now a survivor of cancer. Beginning of 2008, have a fiance, two kids (his), two dogs, sitting around with his family playing loteria, trying to get kissed at midnight. End of 2008, have an awesome roommate, no kids, roommate has two dogs, sitting in a movie theater with the flu, trying to give the flu to my awful date at midnight. And the inbetween the beginning and the end is all that you can imagine that can happen from one extreme to the other. But I am so much happier at the end of 2008. So, like I said..Where the hell did the year go? And damn it couldn’t go quick enough! (more…)