… The Act of Being Whoremotional

Adventures in Internet Dating: The Disappearing Act May 14, 2009

Ok. So, I am a bit behind on my internet dating blogs, but hey, life happens. Haha. Anyways, I have a date to talk about so here it goes.

A while ago (and I mean like months ago!) I went on a date with a guy that was 38. About a 13 year difference. I wasn’t too sure about it, but why the hell not. This whole dating thing is all about adventure anyways right?! So we meet up at this Mexican joint (points for him) with really good margaritas (extra points!). He gets there before I do (more points cause I wasn’t running late) put our name down and waits patiently for my arrival, haha. Actually, at this point I was driving around trying to find parking. I’m not the biggest LA/ Hollywood fan when I’m the one driving. Finally I say fuck it and park it Valet. Valet is my friend…most of the time. I get out and we meet out front. I notice he looked like his pics, but maybe a tad bit older looking. Side note: You know people put many pics on their profiles (at least those are the ones that I tend to answer back. I refuse profiles with one or sometimes two pics only!) and I’m usually drawn to one particular picture and hope that that was the recent one, or that they have decided to cut their hair back to looking like that and/or now dress like that… on a daily basis. Well, he didn’t look like the pic (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Indecent Proposal February 25, 2009

Ok. So, I figured it was time to share some of the messages I have been getting from my internet adventures. This is just a small example of some of the ways that these guys think (or lack there of) in hopes to get my attention. Or perhaps into my pants, haha. Again, names have been changed to protect the idiots and those they may embarrass. Though spelling, grammar and plain stupidity has been left as is.

“hi the only reason i am hitting on you is your innocent bright shinning face you know if you leave out the h it is a sinning face which is really what i want.”


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Mass Emailer February 7, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 6:52 am
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So, one thing I have learned from this whole Internet Dating thing is there are some really desperate people! There are guys who write up this huge email and send it out to probably every girl that they can find on the site. Because I highly doubt that they really have that much interest in me by reading that I like sushi, the color pink and looking at my pics! Here is a prime example: (names have been changed to save the embarassment of the desperate)

Hi darling!
My name is Mass Emailer. (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Name Dropper February 3, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 8:32 am
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And the saga continues. In todays episode of Adventures in Internet Dating we meet the Name Dropper.

So, I was chatting with a guy that had messaged me due to the fact that we had a high percentage in the “we may end up liking each other one day because you like things like bread and I like sandwiches” percentages that they calculate for you. I found out that he is in the music entertainment business. So, that gave us stuff to talk about. He makes music, I listen to it. Something in common. We chat it up for a few days and then decide to meet up for some drinks. We meet up and things are going ok. It’s not amazing, but it’s not bad either. After a few drinks I suggest the dive bar across the street that I know to play some shuffleboard. Which P.S. I am taking all of my victims from now on. If you can hang with me at he dive bar for shuffleboard and darts you can hang with me, but (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Message January 23, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 5:00 am
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A few weeks ago Miss Communication and I were working on a project together. Earlier in the morning I had been online and was talking to a guy that caught my interest, or maybe I caught his..haha. I don’t remember. Anyways, I talked to the guy for awhile and knew that I was going to be leaving and would be unavailable for the next few days, so I gave him my number so that we could continue in text. After I signed out and went about a few of my errands I got a text. It was from the guy that I just given my number too. Let’s call him Truck Guy cause he had some nice pictures of a big truck on his profile! Oh yeah. I’m one of those. Big trucks get me all HOT and bothered! Anyways, we were chit chatting it up for a while when I let him know that I would be unavailable throughout the day because of work. We continued discussing how much we like cuddling and my profile does say that it is one of my favorite past times, haha. Along with mentioning that I was not on that site looking for “friends”. I try to make this very clear to everyone that I talk to. Especially after they find out what I do for a living. I find it very important to be upfront with my intentions or non intentions of trying to find a fuck buddy. I do not need the internet for that.  (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Head Pusher January 14, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 10:28 pm
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So Mr. Internet and I have a had a few more meet ups since our first date. I went to his house, met his roommates and soooo cute puppy. We sat around the outdoor firepit in his back yard that over looked a small lake and watched Will Ferrell movies. Damn near perfect right? Well, thats what I thought.

After a fabulous evening with a few awkward silent moments, Mr. Internet walks me to my car. First, maybe I should tell you that during the movie, we layed side by side, not touching. I mean it is only our second kinda date so whatever. So, he walks me out to my car where we say good bye. Then the next thing I know (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: You Sure Look Good in Text January 9, 2009

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 6:47 pm
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I started talking to another guy on a site and we totally hit it off. I mean we once talked on IM for 5 hours!!!! I haven’t talked to anyone that long since jr.high. We just totally hit it off. He made me laugh, I like to laugh. He was sarcastic, I’m sarcastic. He had good taste in music, I have fabulous taste in music (in my mind). He started using corny lines, I love corny lines. He liked to text, I love to text. After about a few weeks of getting to know you’s, I thought for sure I was ready to meet this guy. We happened to connect during the holidays so meeting was a bit difficult. He had made the suggestion that we could go out on New Years Eve. I did hesitate for a while on that. I haven’t had a really good New Years in a while and I’m very picky on who I spend them with. I mean come on, it’s how you start the year off.  After a little bit of convincing, I decided why the hell not. So he made this whole agenda for the night that included everything we had been discussing for the past few weeks. I told Miss Communication the plan and due to my excitement, she sounded excited for me =) I was pretty stoked and excited to see how things were going to play out.  Though a part of me was upset that I wasn’t celebrating with Miss Communication and/or at some dive bar getting wasted! Haha.



Adventures in Internet Dating: The First Date December 27, 2008

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 8:42 am
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Ok sooooo I went on my first internet date!!! Let me give you some background first =)
P.S. This date took place a while ago, but I have just now had time to write about it, so the next few posts will come pretty quickly..haha

I had been going back and forth with this particular guy pretty much all day.  We just seemed to be hitting it off in the “what we are looking for in the future” discussion that was being presented. He was hot. Had a really cute dog and looked and sounded like a guy I could totally like. We started messaging back and forth for a bit and then he asked me out!!! Of course I said yes. He planned out a dinner (sushi..big points there) and a movie for our first date. After getting the date details squared away, the panic sunk in. I started freaking out! What if this guy wasn’t who he said he was?! What if he was some balding, old, fat man who wanted to slice my throat and throw me in a dumpster?! Oh no! Miss Communication and I needed a plan!! We conceived a plan that worked for both of us so that to make sure I ended up at home, breathing and alive. I would get to the resturant and text her, then text her 30 minutes later, text her when we left the resturant and after the movie. It wasn’t exactly fool proof (we will get better at this), but it worked for us. I think Miss Communication may have been more nervous about it then me. (more…)


Adventures in Internet Dating: The Profile December 20, 2008

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 12:16 am
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Welcome to Part 2 of my Internet dating adventure. Once I had decided that I was going to join a site, I would have easily decided against it if I had  known about all the damn questions I had to answer. I mean…they just kept coming! There were so many that I had to just sit there and think, is that really my answer or am I just trying to hurry through this thing?! After filling it all out I had to stop and think if maybe I’m not as easy to please as I thought. lol. Or maybe Disney (along with Twilight) has warped my mind into what I think may be the perfect guy, that doesnt really exist, and know I have ruined all chance to meet someone cool. I was waiting for the screen to tell me there are absolutely no matches due to the fact that I live in a dream world. I figured it would tell me to come back when I grow up and live in the real world. What do you mean you don’t have any sparkling vampires that yearn for my blood, but wont dare drink it and then turn that hate into love, to match me up with?! lol. Just kidding….maybe.



Adventures in Internet Dating: The Thought Process December 12, 2008

Filed under: Adventures In Internet Dating — Captain Pants @ 12:03 am
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Ok. So you may have read in one of my previous blogs that I have decided to join an online dating site. First , let me go over my thought process or lack there of.
Remember HT? Long story short, he left me too close to the backdoor while he thought through if he was ready to be with me. Anyways, I decided that there are PLENTY of guys that I could be spending time with and getting to know during my “thinking” time. I do know that I can go out and be social and get dates that way, but it has been a bit difficult to break free of the industry and I don’t necessarily believe that I’m going to have a long and meaningful relationship with someone that I met at a bar. No offense to anyone. I know that this works for some and hey, I’m not saying that this option is out. So I started to consider my online options. I don’t really like the idea of paying, but then I broke it down. Ok, so it’s about $30-$50 a month depending on what you choose and dinner runs about what? Exactly! Paid for after the first date or two. Works for me! It’s a steal actually. It’s almost like I found the bargain sale still with this seasons stuff. (more…)